“In the secret, in the quiet place. In the stillness You are there. In the secret, in the quiet hour. I wait only for You. Cause, I want to know You more”. These lyrics from the song I Want to Know You by Sonicflood have been going over and over in my head today.
The quiet place, do we really get that as moms? My heart these last few weeks has been crying out to the Lord and asking him to speak, but it has been hard as I feel like it hasn’t been silent to hear him.
In January, I had the opportunity to go on a missions trip to Africa, with my church. God opened the door for this and my sons got to have two weeks of adventures at their Papa and Gigi’s house. It was an amazing time and the presence of God is clearly present in Africa my dear friends as He is present here with us in our homes, on the other side of the world.
I recall very clearly one moment as I sat in a small church as one of the guests, and listened and attempted to worship along with these people. The church sat on top of a hill, and the doors and windows were wide open. From my seat all I could see was rolling hill, after rolling hill, with clear skies and banana trees across the scenery. As the praise team led in worship, I just remember thinking my Savior is very present and alive! I wish I could paint that scene as I will never forget it.
Since I have arrived back home, it has been difficult finding that quiet place of praise. For me, I feel like I have been an emotional mess, from being in a place where you can see God at work, surrounded by many men and women who have no fear of man and are not ashamed of the gospel. To entering back into our American society that is so fast paced and centered around how everyone feels, not to mention all the arguing that is constantly taking place on the news, social media, and any other outlet especially in my DC area. I felt like I was drowning amidst all the noise.
I also came back home and had to say goodbye to a dear Uncle, who was an amazing man. Also, within the week I heard about a dear friend’s son diagnosed with cancer. These things have been tearing my heart apart and it has been hard to think and hear through all the noise in my head.
My friends, I am not telling you all these things for sympathy or to say “look at me.” No, that is what I don’t want to do but I needed you to get the backdrop for what I want you to hear!
You see this is where my heart needed to be, I needed Him. I needed my Father, to hear my cries and to know that the same God I felt in Africa was alive over here. I want you to know this…HE IS ALIVE and has NEVER left.
I don’t know where you are in your season of motherhood. I don’t know what trials and suffering you have walked through or haven’t walked through. But I do know this, you are a mother. You wake up everyday and care for your children. You love them and would do about anything for them. You want them to succeed and be successful in sports, school, and whatever else they are involved in. I know that there are also times, when days or weeks are hard as a mom. You feel unseen, unheard, disrespected, and frequently disobeyed. It can be wearisome to your heart and soul, and at times feel like a heavy burden to carry. My dear friend, I want you to know that no matter what you are carrying, no matter what burden, or trial or suffering you may experience – My Father is present with you. He has never left you. He see’s you in your hiding place and wants you to know that He loves. I pray that you are able to cry out to Him and hear Him whisper back I LOVE YOU and I SEE YOU.