Being married to a man who serves in the military doesn’t make me anything special. I’m just another 20-something year old woman who is married to my best friend and we happen to have three babies.
Being married to a man who serves in the military doesn’t make me more brave or more lonely than anyone else. It doesn’t make deployments easier because I chose to marry him. It doesn’t make moving across the country and back easier because “this is what we signed up for”.
He doesn’t leave us because he wants to miss holidays and anniversaries and our kids growing up. He loves his job but he loves us more, which is why he works so tirelessly to provide for us– it just happens to be in a job that takes him away for long periods of time.
Being married to a man who serves in the military is a life that thousands of women live across the country (and the world!). We love the man we married and the babies that we have had together. We love our country and tear up when we hear the National Anthem, watch a homecoming video, and kiss our own loved one goodbye for months on end. Homecomings are indescribable and make us appreciate every minute we get with our hero home, because we don’t get to welcome them home every night.
Being married to a man who serves in the military means that we have to be fiercely independent, even when we’d rather not be. We have to be mom AND dad sometimes, whether our kids like it or not. We don’t always get weekends or holidays “off”. We don’t get to plan vacations without knowing in the back of our mind that the military could take it all away at the drop of a hat because, well…they own us.
Military spouses have to be strong for our families even when we don’t know what the next day or month or year will look like. We dread the “what-ifs” but we have to talk about them for our own sanity and to plan and prepare for things most families never even think about.
We have the love and support of so many friends and family members who aren’t a part of the military community but who love us anyways. We have the love and support of our military friends who are really more like family, no matter how many miles separate us.
No matter what the military gives us, we thrive by living with courage and living by faith. The courage and strength that our husbands exude only makes us stronger. I am proud of my husband. I respect and honor his service and the choices he has made to serve in the United States Military. He lives selflessly and fearlessly and it is an honor and blessing to be by his side.
So whether you are married to a man who serves in the military or not, let’s be wives who love intensely and sacrificially and passionately. Let our faith define us- not our circumstances. Let’s be the women we want our daughters to grow up to be and the kind of woman we would want our sons to marry. If our husbands are called away, whether to work or to war, our goal can be the same- to love God, love our families, and love the people around us. And that is enough.