Self Forgiveness as a Mom

Let’s admit it, we fail. Motherhood is hard. There is no manual for navigating difficult situations. We were born with a sinful nature which means, we aren’t perfect. We mess up. There are days where I fail as a mom and I take it personally. I think we all do. I believe we are harder on ourselves as moms and find it more difficult to forgive ourselves than our children do.

There are days when my son whines, cries, clings and tests the limits on everything. It can stress me out, I feel my patience falling, my temper rising and sometimes I burst. I yell. I get mad. Then, I instantly regret it. I look at him and my heart breaks. I failed. So what do I do now? Well, it’s easy to let that failure take root and you feel miserable. You start thinking “I should have done something else, I could have have a better response, If only I didn’t react.

What about the times when we fail because “we weren’t there.” When they fall and scrape their knee. The fell off the chair. The fevers and coughs that you try to soothe. All those times you want to comfort your child and protect your child. Then you let that failure take root. I should have been there, why wasn’t I there, I should have comforted him more.

We let our failures take root and we start judging ourselves. It’s easy to do. We live in a society where everyone judges you, so it’s easy to fall into the trap of judging yourself and shackle ourselves to the past. All of those mistakes, failures, regrets and resentments send us down a path of discouragement. Then you read all these stories, or you are given advice on how to be the “perfect parent” and when you remember all those moments when you weren’t the “perfect parent,” you feel even more discouraged.

Are you ready for the big secret? No one is a perfect parent. Everyone messes up. It happens, it’s human nature. So what should we do? How do we not let ourselves become discouraged when we “fail?” Forgive. We need to learn to forgive ourselves. Three things can get you to that point. 1)Understand that it’s okay to make a mistake and that we did make a mistake. 2)Take a deep breath and acknowledge your feelings. 3)Say it aloud, “I forgive myself.” I times like this you need to remember one thing: “Forgive yourself and begin again tomorrow.”