Are you at that moment as a mom, where you feel you can’t give anymore?
As moms, we are always on-call. From the sick nights – to the early morning risers. We pour our life into our kids and husbands, yet we feel like we aren’t seen.
We carry heavy loads of laundry, clean dishes, pick up toys, chauffeur kids, run errands, kiss boo-boo’s and do our best to cook and put a healthy meal on the table. As wives, we carry the burdens of our husbands hearts, as we see the stress they can be under to provide for the family. Mother’s are the listener of the family, the referee during fights, the one they run to when hurt or need anything – YES this is the role us moms take and much more.
Yet, so often we carry everyone’s burdens that we forget about ourselves. We even take on our friends and communities burdens and try to help – but we continue to push forward leaving our own brokenness, fears, and worries buried deep.
If that is you – I promise that you will eventually break. You will feel so overwhelmed by the load you have been given that you will collapse, fall down and/or often times lose it. It is then after you fall or collapse in utter exhaustion or lose your temper on your kids or husband, when guilt kicks in. Or like me this week – apologizing for my own sin towards my kids and husband. Sound familiar?
What if instead, we take our heavy loads and asked for help? What if we cried out saying, “HELP ME” before we fall down and stumble. I believe and I know that we aren’t meant to carry such heavy loads.
I got to see the power of community first hand, while I was overseas in Africa. You see we were made for community. We need one another, need to hear from other mom’s and adults during the day. We should be able to express our worries and our fears to our Father yes, but also to our dear friends and community. When we are carrying too much or about to break friends – the power of community and dear friends is that they can see this and know when to step in.
I watched the women in Africa, work together. Communities, village women, and church friends came together daily to help one another. They gathered food together, they cooked together, raised their children with one another, washed dishes, folded laundry, and even cared for one another’s burden and fears while they did so.
My dear friends and moms when did we lose sight of this. Our culture has become so wrapped up in “me” and look at how much “I” do. We have robbed mothers the chance to ask for help by making them feel guilty for asking. We have placed mothers up so high that they feel they have to reach for impossible tasks and if they don’t they have failed their kids. You even see motherhood communities arguing over which way to raise their kids is best. and tearing one another down. It is time that we STOP and help ourselves and our culture by changing this. Let us be a community of moms that start building one another up, care for one another, and start to listen to one another’s needs and burdens.
We need to change our vocabulary from slandering one another in online forums, blogs, communities, and groups. This can start by pulling back the layers and seeing that at the root there is another woman in front of you. She also is a mom doing the best she can by any means that she is capable. We might be the wealthiest country in the world but we are quickly losing ground on the way we as humans respond and need one another.
Fellow friend and mom – let’s be the ones who pull back the layers and see the real women standing around us. Let us be the ones who start the change in our culture and in our communities. Let’s learn from one another, lean into one another, see each other and the needs that each one has. Let us be moms who encourage those around us, pour life into them, care for them, and show them Christ through our actions. My prayer for this current and next generation of moms and women is that we see one another’s burdens and that in turn each one of us can build up the power of community around us.