I have a lot of best friends.
People make fun of me in conversations because I always mention a best friend. I heard someone speaking years ago about using the words “best friend” with great sensitivity. Because if you have a “best friend” then that means that spot is taken. I get that. I’ve been on the other side and felt the sting of being only a friend. But that’s not the case for me, I have best friends. A lot more than one.
I have friends who I love to see every once in awhile. But then my best friends, they are the ones that call and text every week. The ones we schedule dinners weeks out in advance because their lives are important to me. Their friendship is precious. They have walked through hard things with me, and I with them.
My best friends are the ones with all the inside jokes. These are the girls I can be silly with, immature even, and it’s totally okay. I can voice very passionate opinion at times, and they are fine with it, even if they don’t agree. My best friends are the ones I send pictures of my kitchen cabinets that I completely butchered. And the only caption is “help.” They’re really best friends when they text back and say “yeah, that’s awful!” Or sometimes I’ll be in Target and send a picture of a dress and ask which shoes to wear with it. The one who tells you have lipstick in your teeth. She might even hold up her sunglasses for you so you can see to wipe it off. You know those kind of friends? The ones who are funny, who love you for you, and still love you when you’ve lost your mind.
But among those best friends, are heart sisters. These are the girls that know my heart. They know my dreams. These girls keep me grounded. These girls not only know what is going on in my life, but they know what Father is doing in my heart. They call out the work of the Holy Spirit in my life. They see my gifting’s, pull them out of me, and teach my how to use them. Also, it’s these girls that know most where I struggle. I don’t worry about being judged by them. Because these girls know my heart. They remind me of truth when I’ve forgotten and they believe for me when I feel that I can’t.
Best friends, heart sisters, they are treasures. Absolute gifts from the Father. Every one of my best friends bring to my life something the others don’t. I need all of them. I need each unique personality, experiences, and opinions pouring into my life. We’re missing out on so much of the Kingdom if we only have one best friend. There is significant treasure found in a tribe.
Many of you reading this might be thinking, “That’s great for her, but I don’t have anyone around me that remotely could be my tribe.” Here’s how I would encourage you. I would start praying that God would open your eyes to see the hearts around you. Remember to be very careful finding women to pour into you. You want hearts that are walking in deep intimacy with the Father. Those are they kind of women you want closest to you. I know once you start praying, the Father will begin crossing your paths with other women whose heart beats for His.
But I would also encourage you to take the first step. Rather than waiting until your house is clean or you have a babysitter or for her to ask you to coffee. You ask first. You be the kind of friend you are wanting so badly to have! Invite her over to your messy house in your yoga pants and top knot! I know I don’t have time for friendships that will only be surface and I’m sure you don’t either. I’m absolutely terrible at shooting the breeze. I need a sister who will dive to deep depths with me. A friend who will skip the small talk and get down to the things of the heart. So rather than waiting for that friend to show up, why don’t you make the first move and start being her? You will be amazed at how the Lord starts to build your tribe.
We were never meant to do this life alone. God never intended for us to hoard our knowledge and love for Him. There is so much to receive when we give Him away. Some of the deepest heart work and greatest revelation I’ve had about the Father have been sparked from the conversations with my heart sisters. I need them in my life. And they need me.
I’m praying even now the Father will help you find your tribe. And If you have found it, treasure it! Remind them how important their role is in your life. Thank them for walking beside you in their journey with Jesus. Not only so when you completely ruin your kitchen cabinets or you need fashion advice, but when it’s hard to hear and see Him working in your life, you can call that sister and ask her to point you to Him. Finding your tribe is truly a deep treasure. It’s a beautiful thing.
And I think it blesses the Father’s heart so much to see His daughters growing and walking towards Him TOGETHER, hand in hand, heart in heart.